A Message to All the Haters

Being the basket case that I am, I was listening to "Basket Case"[1] by the rap artist, Rittz, in the shower today. In this song, Rittz discusses some of the challenges he has faced being in the entertainment industry—particularly confrontational dialog, presumably on social media. Rittz is a white rapper who wears a beanie on top of his long, frizzy, red hair. I think he's brilliant, but people often knock him for his persona and appearance.

Then the word "haters" came to mind.

In the past, when people had talked about "haters", I didn't really understand what they were referring to. I thought statements like "I've got people to prove wrong" or "this is for all the haters", were just hyperbole. They couldn't possibly be met with that much criticism or that many expressions of doubt, disapproval, and downright hatred, could they?

But then it occurred to me that my experience is vastly different from those in the limelight. People in facets of life that are more public-facing will naturally communicate with a number of people orders of magnitude higher than I. When increasing the number of people with whom you interact, the probability of encountering "a hater" also increases.

I then had to define what the word, "hater", meant. Google simply defines it as "a person who greatly dislikes a specified person or thing"[2]. But I wanted a more granular definition.

I believe a hater is someone whom speaks inflammatory remarks about a subject that they do not understand.

When I have witnessed people hating on Nsima Inyang—who is, in my opinion, one of the most impressive athletes on the planet—I usually view it as a lack of information, or more succinctly: ignorance. Nsima has publicly stated many times that he does not take performance enhancing drugs. People think that that's impossible. How could someone in his 20s be shredded at 250lbs, have a squat/bench/deadlift of 622/380/755lbs, have a purple belt in jiujitsu, and be a drug-free professional bodybuilder owning the title of Mr. California? Well, the answer is quite simple: he's a super hero. He is a genetically gifted, talented, and disciplined individual who has spent a great deal of time and energy on his own education and practice of physical performance. Go watch some of his content and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Anyway, back to the haters...

My natural tendency was to hate the haters. Screw those people. Nsima isn't just an amazing athlete. He's also a tremendously kind, generous, and cool dude. How could you possibly hate him? Why do they even care what he does with his own time, money, and body? Why can't they just appreciate his athleticism and try to learn from him?

But then it occurred to me that I was doing exactly what they were doing. I was hating on the haters. I was responding to hatred with more hatred, which didn't seem like the right thing to do.

Hatred is such a strong emotion. I believe it is similar to anxiety, frustration, anger, or fear—emotions I often associate with pain. How can I hate those whom are suffering from pain not unlike my own? I know how it feels to be kicked while you're down. I don't want anyone to have to feel that way.

With all that in mind, I have a message to all the haters out there:

I'm sorry you're in pain. I don't know your pain, but I know mine. In the past, one thing that has helped me was to look outward for support—family, friends, or even a stranger online. At times we need help the most, we forget to ask for it. If you don't have anyone you can turn to, you can turn to me. I'm willing to listen if you're willing to share.

Refs

• "Basket Case" by Rittz: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0YqtE2s0mg
• Define hater on Google: https://www.google.com/search?q=define+hater